Fat-Wear Shopping

I am starting to come to the realization (it's a tough one for me to stomach) that my body is going to go all fun-house-mirrors on me... again. (thank you, Peter) And this is probably going to happen sooner than later. So I'm on the prowl for some maternity gear- I have some, but there's nothing like some new threads to make your gignormous butt feel a squish bit better.

And through this browsing, I've had a few thoughts. Like:

Can I just order her legs?Those pants are fine- but I would love to be able to wear shoes like that when I'm all off balance and huge! How much for that ability? Was this chick in Cirque de Soleil pre-pregnancy?!

Another one! That dress is all fine and dandy- but those shoes are making me squeal in delight. (and torture!) I'm about 99.99% sure I couldn't walk in those before I had the twins. The odds of me doing this after three kids? (Or during any sort of pregnancy) is pretty obsolete. I'm quite skeptical this chick is even pregnant. Perhaps she just has a tumor in her stomach. (was that too mean?) Still- these skinny pregnant people shouldn't exist. I bet her ankles aren't even swollen.