(you have that song from the Lego movie in your head constantly, right? Please say yes and assure me I am not crazy)
I got a really bad call today, guys. Afterwards all the little dark clouds congregated around my general area, like a flock of black sheep. It's a pretty bleak place over here.
Little Man's allergy bloodwork came back COMPLETELY NORMAL. Because of course. I was hanging all my hopes on finding one solution that I could knock out. Like FINE, we'll get rid of GLUTEN, or EGGS, or RIBOFLAVIN. We'll just cut it out of our lives forever and it will fix the problem, or at least MAKE A DENT in this awful skin-eating thing. (He's practically a leper, guys. I'm not even joking. I have pictures that I will refrain from posting here. If you're really masochistic, I will email them to you if you want.)
My doctor seems to be completely non-plussed. Like, what. He just has eczema. This is how it goes. Granted she did raise an eyebrow when I told her the Rx cream was useless and I was MAKING MY OWN DAMN LOTION.
BUT IT SUCKS SO HARD.
It feels like a constant uphill battle of just enough bathing, but not too much! Leaving him in water too long will dry out the skin- but oh! He needs to wash off the Oozy bacteria stuff! (grumble grumble, it's impossible) The Rx creams that once worked now don't even come close, so we try the steroid stuff, which will probably stop working at some point too. The homemade pain-in-the-butt-destroy-my-pans lotion bars worked for a while, now they don't. He's in pain all the time, it's horrible, a constant state of horrible.
I cannot stop Googling "what causes eczema" because the stock answer of "it is still unclear" just fills me with a bottomless pit of rage with a dragon inside that comes out and spits hellfire. I'm researching new, even more hard core treatment methods, that I know he'll become immune to eventually. (ECZEMA IS LIKE THE BORG) In case you are also in this terrible awful boat with me. (I hope there is ice cream on this boat as well) Here is the new game plan, what I cannot find tomorrow at every store within driving distance, I will be purchasing online. (can you tell we're in the middle of an almost month-long flareup?)
- Soap Flakes. All Free & Clear is not only a joke in that it doesn't ACTUALLY clean, I think it still has bad chemicals. These look SUPER HIPPIE, but I like it, almost enough to pull the trigger and order some.
- Emollient Bath Wash. I was a fool to be using the Aveeno wash like it was helpful. A FOOL, I SAY!
- A crap ton of Alba Botanica Stuff. Like this lotion. And sunscreen!
- Bleach baths. UGH. I don't even want to think about it, guys. I don't.
I've definitely decided to cut his hair because I can't deal with trying to revive his lusty curls while I'm also dealing with this skin nonsense. Dude is probably getting a buzz cut and I feel very bad about it. Well, the person inside me who just wants him around for his dimples & curls for pictures to hang on a wall is really sad about cutting the hair. The other part of me is exhausted and ready to take some pretty extreme measures.
I've informed The Husband to come home tonight and immediately purge the house of the chocolate, ice cream, and licorice, because I am so emotional about this bloodwork, I am sure if left to my own devises I will gain 20 lbs wallowing in sackcloth and ashes. Gosh, this just feels like such a trap door that has been pulled out from underneath my feet. I was SO FREAKING SURE he had some really significant allergies going on. HOW COULD THAT NOT BE THE PROBLEM? (Even now I'm considering going around my regular doctor and getting a blasted scratch test done on the poor dude. Or maybe popping into a dermatologist. Hrm, decisions) It feels so awful to be back to square one after 4 years of this silly uphill battle. I hate even feeling so bad about it at this point. Ok, let me go throw a paper bag over my head while I weep and eat all my emotions.
GREAT WAY TO START OFF A WEEK, MONDAY.
(I won't even address the hell that is Daylight Savings Time. Behold, my RESTRAINT!)