My Sketchy Clothing Hoarding Past

Hi, my name is Ashley, and I have been hoarding clothes for ten years. It isn't TV show hoarding, I assure you. I was confronted with the full magnitude of what I had been doing to myself yesterday. My Mom took the kids for the day and I was utterly lost. I went shopping for a bit, got a haircut, did a ton of laundry, eventually I had to look around and asess possible means of making the most of a kid-free day.

I landed on the idea of cleaning out the huge plastic tubs of clothing that have been taking up real estate in the kid's closets. I've lost a significant amount of weight lately, and I was feeling brave enough to skulk into the depths of my skinnier clothes.

Going through tubs of old clothes to see what fits and what is too outdated to wear. Why have I kept these so long?! twitter.com/craftyashley/s…
— Ashley (@craftyashley) February 18, 2013

You see, on my wedding day I was a size 6/8. After the wedding? The Husband introduced me to butter. So I wistfully kept those tiny clothes back away in a drawer. Every move I would revisit them, weed out, and then carefully pack them away for another day.

When I found out I was pregnant for the first time, (not knowing it was twins!) I packed up that wardrobe too. It was full of my favorite t-shirts, cute skirts, etc. I didn't want to say goodbye because I knew I would be revisiting them... soonish.

Those bins have not been opened since then for the most part. (depressing reality!)

I was incredibly enthused when I opened bin one and the American Eagle sweatpants that I had yearned for slid on and looked as decent as sweatpants can be. I squealed for joy when some other items fit too. This is when I got a bit too confident. The deeper I went, the smaller the sizes.

There was another unfortunate reality, these clothes are REALLY old. Completely outdated. I had put these threads on a pedestal- my pre-pregnancy wardrobe.  Whenever I thought of these clothes, I saw visions of... something else. Reality smacked me a bit as I pulled out a velour set of capris and zip up top.

NOOOOO.

There was also this:

You guys! I owned this awful shirt once upon a time. twitter.com/craftyashley/s…
— Ashley (@craftyashley) February 18, 2013

(THAT is a peachy-orange striped button down with completely non-matching floral accents. Also? The smaller stripes are yellow and green. WHAT THE WHAT?!)

The dream slowly slipped from my grasp. I was thinner, (yay!) approaching the number on that scale from before I had kids. It just wasn't as I'd imagined it. Some things fit, but weren't exactly flattering on me anymore. There's also the aging issue- I am not a college co-ed. Some of these bright, flirty colors just don't belong on me.

I had to make the decision to let these pieces of clothing go. These were no longer my goal. I just want to jiggle a little less when I walk up stairs. I will buy new clothes to fit this new body. They will be fashionable and age appropriate.

It was a relief to drive away from that Goodwill trailer after leaving large overstuffed boxes. I was no longer tied to that me. That girl belongs firmly in the past. She is a lovely memory, a beautiful girl in pictures, but she is no longer me. And no amount of dieting & exercising is going to get me back to her. I have earned these wrinkles, these years, these weird new skin-flaps. It was liberation. A very odd and disconcerting feeling, but pleasant nonetheless.

Moving forward!