More Crazy

Yeah, I'm going be taking my sister in law's advice. I went absolutely insane last night. After I turned off the lights and was snuggled in my bed, I heard this noise. This horrible squeaky, repetitive noise. I checked the monitors (they often make terrible screeches or go fuzzy for long periods of time) But no. I deduced that it was the ceiling fan after a little search of the entire bedroom in pursuit of "the noise." Ok, whatever, it's just the fan. So I tried to go back to sleep. Easier said than done! I couldn't stop the thoughts! Hearing that noise, it was surely the noise of a loose screw that was bouncing around in there. The whole thing was bound to fall right from the ceiling and chop us into little bits. I simply could not lay there and wait to be decapitated in my sleep. And just why was that fan going so... fast?! It was so fast! It made my head pound- the rapidity of the blades swooshing around above my head. I simply could not think straight, much less relax!

I lost it and proceeded into a deranged panic. I was shaking. My head was buzzing with fear, adrenaline, worry. I grabbed my pillow and ran into the baby's room to try and get some rest under the quiet of his fan, the slower speed of the blades they could do no harm! They were barely moving!

My mind would not give up. How could I just rest in here when my husband's life was surely in danger?! How could I just leave that crazy fast fan going in there? Who knows! It could come right off the ceiling, hit the floor sideways and burst out the door in the middle of the night, and head towards the kids' rooms! I was putting my whole family in danger! Why, oh why, wouldn't the husband let me turn off that fan! That maniacal fan just laying in wait to kill us all! It took me a long time in the baby's nursery to calm down. I fell asleep for a while (until realizing that Little Man has a cold- and would be keeping me up most of the night anyway) and then tried again to go back into my own bed. It took a while to tune out the noise. But I went to sleep for a while.

I'm pretty sure that had I been alone, I would have ripped that fan apart with my bare hands. Someone would have come in to check on me- only to find bits of fan strewn about the room, and me in the corner rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

So I'm going to have to talk to someone about this. Great.


  1. There is nothing wrong with talking to someone! It makes ya feel pretty normal once you do. Good luck!

  2. yeah, i would say the anxiety is getting to you. but you're not alone! i once went nuts over the refridgerator making noises. it was SURELY going to wake up the baby! how could you not hear that in the next state?! and i had just gotten her to sleep! the ONLY thing to do was to call a repair man NOW! or muffle it with towels or something! or soundproof the baby's room! i was up till literally four a.m. yeah, i know what you're going through, lol!