cI took the kids to the park! In cold weather! When all I wanted to do was lay on the couch and... eat chips and dip... or something. But no! We all got dressed and everything. We met a nice family with a toddler, a new baby, and four (yes, four) dogs. I was amazed. They both looked great- I didn't ask why the husband was at the park too at 10:30- but anyway. I asked her how she did it. Then she pointed to who I assumed was the grandmother and mentioned the "au pair" had something to do with it. (cough/choke) Yeah, ok. The things I could do with a nanny! The possibilities are endless. (sigh)
I was still feeling pretty happy with myself- being out in the world...
But then it happened. And by it I mean... the twin apocalypse of NOBODY IS LISTENING TO MOMMY! There were time outs. Time outs were laughed at. I had to lock them both upstairs in separate rooms for long stretches of time simply to get my point across. Some things I had to yell today? Here's just a juicy little sampling:
We do not slap our sister across the face with a monkey!
Quit slamming the door on her head!
We don't chew on the baby's binkies!
That Boppy is not for... what the crap are you doing with that Boppy, anyway?!
She doesn't want you to lick her feet--- SO STOP!
I actually considered locking them outside... in the cold... without shoes... sometimes mommy JUST WANTS TO BE LISTENED TO! I could only handle so much unreasonable whining. And Little Man had cornered the market on that. And it seemed like as soon as I got the baby to sleep- some sort of ridiculous twin situation would start up... and there would be yelling (from all three of us) and then the baby would wake up.
I cannot emphasize how completely done I am with this day. DONE.