#1- I will be eating half the bag of candy I just purchased for you.
#2- There had better be more than 2 trick or treaters coming to my door this year. (I'm pretty sure I shouldn't eat the entire bag of candy)
#3- If my porch light is off, it means I did eat the entire bag of candy- and you are just out of luck.
#4- My gigantic belly and haggard general appearance is not a costume. Do not scream...