How Do Toddlers Survive?

Let me inform you novices out there. There is a huge, whopping difference between boys and girls. I remember when the girls figured out the whole climbing onto the couch deal. They were about 2 1/2? At least my memory tells me they were old-ish. I remember thinking, great! This will give them some independence! And I won't have to be the designated elevator anymore! Whew!

Little Man has learned all these skills and more a little too early for my liking. Not only that- his safety! He can't be scaling the shelving unit! He doesn't have the coordination to NOT fall! How do toddlers survive THEMSELVES?! 


I thought I stifled his ability to reach- and grab- and mess up- everything on the countertops... I threw away that chair. Taking away that kind of a reach was worth the $1.50 loss.

Apparently, my child is determined to drive me to an early grave...

As I was wracking my brain in vain  planning dinner, I almost dropped dead of a heart attack:

Please let this be a freak of nature growth spurt. 

Oh dear, no. 

This has to be a dream... a terrible nightmare! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! 

Nobody puts baby in a corner, especially when there is Play Doh to be squished and rubbed into carpet. 

So yes. He is UPWARDLY MOBILE. And there is not enough Xanax in the western hemisphere to make that ok. 

Also, on a completely unrelated note to my current freak out. Take a gander at the drapes in the back... I'll wait while you scroll up. (the red panels are the drapes) 

You see how they are a good foot or so from the floor? That was not by accident. Scotty (the dog) is a pee-r. When he is mad at me. And the drapes are the first thing to suffer. But that huge gap between floor and drape... looks dumb. And leaves a really bright strip of light on all my pictures... and I am in need of a solution. Sliding glass doors: for the birds. 

I'd appreciate your thoughts? Live with it? Sew on a removable... perhaps Velcro panel... which can be washed easily upon becoming soaked with pee? Heck, I've even thought about duct taping some cardboard to the glass... CLASSY!