Let's start off with this fact: I hate returning purchased items to a store. Exchanges? No problem. But returns? I feel like doofus. I get all super-apologetic and feel really bad for the incredible inconvenience I am perpetrating on the poor employees. I also wonder if said employees are judging me. Like I need to return some ill-fitting pants to pay my electric bill or something. So the whole thing is borderline humiliating.
But now? I am doing it ALL THE TIME. I have found that with three kids in tow, it is quite a feat just to find the item I desire. To try it on? Impossible. So this leaves me with randomly buying a bunch of things, trying them on at home, (in a normal mirror) and returning what doesn't work. (usually the majority of my purchase)
Today in particular, I am dreading doing my weekly return-run. Because yesterday I lost my mind. Out of nowhere- I decided to buy a bra... right off the rack, in what I dubbed "about my size"... at Target. Let me tell you, fair reader, Target bras are NEVER a good idea. I learned this when I brought it home. There is definitely a reason why it was $14.99. (and no, it wasn't even on sale)
Now I have to make the walk of shame and throw a bra down on the customer service desk. Oh the agony!
I should just stick to shopping online. Stuffing the undesired back into the return package and mailing off my shame is just so much easier.
And no, Mark in the red shirt, I am not returning this bra to pay my utility bill. It's just a bad bra, and I refuse to wear it on my person.
I also have a return at another store today. I was a fool to hold up that small size of pants to my torso and deem it "just my size." Try three sizes too big. The cashier should have looked me over and said "Oh no, honey. No." Now I must hang my head in shame and slide those jeans across the counter. I hope she doesn't ask me why I'm returning them. I may just have a mental breakdown and yell "BECAUSE I'M FAT, LADY! THESE THREE KIDS OVER HERE? THEY MADE ME FAT!"
Now off I go to my unseemly business...