Seriously. When does MOMMY get a vacation? Because I'm beginning to think it's NEVER. I may be able to get away from my kids here and there- but my mommy duties of worrying about, taking care of, and dealing with the kids are omnipresent. When The Husband tries to give me a break, I feel bad. He works really hard at his job. And I feel like I have to worry about every little detail while I'm gone so he can just play Wii while watching kids for a couple hours. If I get a babysitter, I'm still worrying about them... and how they are treating the poor babysitter. If I get a headache- I have to suck it up. Heaven forbid I get a cold or worse.
It simply isn't fair.
This weekend was especially not fair. There was a lot of me running around in the hot hot sun. There was a lot of me cooking and cleaning in the kitchen. The Husband prefers to let things build up and then have a day (that day was supposed to be Monday) where he would "get things done." Well, I did as much as I could all weekend. The kids came with us everywhere. I catered to The Husband's wish to see Toy Story 3. The weekend did not go as planned. The great, fun, relaxing weekend I had been looking forward to so very much- not to be had.
When Monday came around, the kitchen was absolutely covered with the aftermath of a very lovely fourth of July celebration. And The Husband? He didn't feel good. Boo freaking Hoo! (sorry, I'm kind of... disgruntled) So it was more manual labor for Mommy. And the girls are not behaving any better than last week... the week I wanted to pound my head into the drywall.
The Husband didn't get it. He watched all three of The Pirates of the Caribbean movies. And I was left to fend for myself. I was delirious with rage.
But now I get it. He just doesn't get it. He can sit there and not feel not one ounce of guilt. While when I had a c-section... or my gallbladder surgery, I was riddled with guilt; That I couldn't take care of my babies. I took the pain meds and tried quite hard to still have some presence in their lives. I couldn't just lay there and watch someone else do my job. Men have no problem with that, apparently. (or perhaps just my man?)
This is the difference. And it's not fair. I think I'm more mad at myself. Mad that I can't just toss the kids in The Husband's lap- even when he "doesn't feel well" and just... go. Take care of myself.
Sorry- this could not be further from an inspirational post. Parenting is getting me seriously down lately. Seriously.
(If you'd like a bit of inspirational warm fuzzies for your morning, I will direct you here.)
I'm so sorry. I totally understand how you feel. And YOUR husband does hard, manual labor all day. He probably really IS tired when he gets home! BUT you have to give yourself some credit! You are raising TWINS and a bitty baby! That is even more work than people give you credit for!! You might not be doing "manual" labor all day, but lucky for husbands... their jobs end when they clock out. There is not "clocking out" for moms! Just like you said, even when you're out, or taking a break or FREAKING GOING TO THE BATHROOM, you are constantly thinking and planning and wondering how everyone is doing. Making sure everyone is happy, healthy and taken care of is seriously so stressful! And you have 3 KIDS! That's a big deal! I wish I was still cutting Logan's hair.... I'd give him a heads up to help out more. :) I hope you have a better day. Just try to take it a day at a time. I am seriously no mommy expert at all (in all seriousness, I totally look up to you as a mom. You are great) but I hope you realize how great you are and how necessary help and BREAKS are. Miss you tons :)ReplyDelete
Don't worry all men act like your husband! They just don't seems to care about the things we care about because they are men! You need a girls night out.ReplyDelete
What a relief that your man is just like mine! Perhaps there needs to be a "grandparents and husband watch the kids day so the ladies can shop, eat and hit the day spa" thing goin' on when you come to visit. You in?ReplyDelete
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I know what you mean...especially about the worrying when I'm supposed to be having a break! My husband is awesome to help out when he's home, but even when he lets me sleep in, I worry if the girls are behaving or what he's feeding them for breakfast, etc. I am trying to learn to just let it go...when I got to sleep in on Monday, I shut the bedroom door and blocked it all out until 8:30--glorious!ReplyDelete
I think one thing that helps our situation is that we both work outside jobs, so we both understand the other's point of view. Unless you've stayed home with kids more than a few days in a row, you don't truly realize how much work it is.
Hope you get a break soon!!
Dude motherhood is hard! It's like were preprogrammed to feel guilt! The key is little breaks here and here sure but then give yourself a full day- I'm working up to that now and its not easy but having a girls night once a month is helpful! Ive also been known to go to a chick flick after h and hubby are in bed' I'll gladly meet you at the tave or south point:) o feel guilty cus I just got my wisdom teeth out and need to recover thus leaving be hubbs to care fir h and even still I was up at 230am sigh hang in there! Your an awesome mom and id love to sneak off to a chick flick here and there with you:) wait til all three are in school full time yeah yeah!)ReplyDelete