Seriously. When does MOMMY get a vacation? Because I'm beginning to think it's NEVER. I may be able to get away from my kids here and there- but my mommy duties of worrying about, taking care of, and dealing with the kids are omnipresent. When The Husband tries to give me a break, I feel bad. He works really hard at his job. And I feel like I have to worry about every little detail while I'm gone so he can just play Wii while watching kids for a couple hours. If I get a babysitter, I'm still worrying about them... and how they are treating the poor babysitter. If I get a headache- I have to suck it up. Heaven forbid I get a cold or worse.
It simply isn't fair.
This weekend was especially not fair. There was a lot of me running around in the hot hot sun. There was a lot of me cooking and cleaning in the kitchen. The Husband prefers to let things build up and then have a day (that day was supposed to be Monday) where he would "get things done." Well, I did as much as I could all weekend. The kids came with us everywhere. I catered to The Husband's wish to see Toy Story 3. The weekend did not go as planned. The great, fun, relaxing weekend I had been looking forward to so very much- not to be had.
When Monday came around, the kitchen was absolutely covered with the aftermath of a very lovely fourth of July celebration. And The Husband? He didn't feel good. Boo freaking Hoo! (sorry, I'm kind of... disgruntled) So it was more manual labor for Mommy. And the girls are not behaving any better than last week... the week I wanted to pound my head into the drywall.
The Husband didn't get it. He watched all three of The Pirates of the Caribbean movies. And I was left to fend for myself. I was delirious with rage.
But now I get it. He just doesn't get it. He can sit there and not feel not one ounce of guilt. While when I had a c-section... or my gallbladder surgery, I was riddled with guilt; That I couldn't take care of my babies. I took the pain meds and tried quite hard to still have some presence in their lives. I couldn't just lay there and watch someone else do my job. Men have no problem with that, apparently. (or perhaps just my man?)
This is the difference. And it's not fair. I think I'm more mad at myself. Mad that I can't just toss the kids in The Husband's lap- even when he "doesn't feel well" and just... go. Take care of myself.
Sorry- this could not be further from an inspirational post. Parenting is getting me seriously down lately. Seriously.
(If you'd like a bit of inspirational warm fuzzies for your morning, I will direct you here.)