(Don't worry- this is totally G rated)
Ever since I found out we were having a boy, I had been stressing out on the whole circumcision decision. Apparently, it's a hot-button issue! Some even equate it with female genital mutilation. (which I think is insane)
But still- the research coming out about it isn't exactly positive. There seem to be very minor and few upsides to the procedure- like making it unnecessary entirely. I did a lot of research, and I was still on the fence. I am just really apprehensive about doing anything to my babies. When Squirt had to have some bloodwork done as an infant, I freaked. I'm not ok with seeing my kids in any kind of pain.
A lady did a lovely and fascinating photoshoot of her son's circumcision which I found interesting- I'm not sure how I felt after looking through them. (although very graphic- don't click there if you're eating a sandwich... or you don't want to see some baby boy bits) Still, I was unable to make a real decision.
Well, after Little Man was born, the decision was made for me. (kinda thankfully- I didn't really want to have to make that call) He has a version of a general umbrella term called hypospadias. This requires surgery- and requires the use of foreskin to do some skin grafting on his little boy parts.
Luckily, it could have been much worse and called for a much more intensive surgery. So there is a bright side to it too.
But of course, I am freaking out. I am lucky to have a super amazing specialist and her equally amazing nurse who are taking me by the hand and guiding me through the process very gently. I always feel better after meeting or talking to them about it.
Today was our last appointment before "the procedure." All of my questions were answered, and I feel very positive that the outcome will be great- and I know I shouldn't be stressing so much about it.
But I am. Because that's what I do.
I see this perfect little baby- and I so desperately don't want anything to happen to him. Even though I know he is getting the best care possible. Really, this surgeon is certainly top-notch, and this isn't exactly a high-risk procedure. In fact, the pre-registration lady gave me a sweet little pep talk: "Don't worry, honey. This is so very common, I check in a lot of babies just like yours" in her beautiful southern drawl. I'm sure it isn't the worst thing in the world- in fact, I know it isn't the worst thing in the world.
I just worry. Life would never be the same without him.
I am trying so hard to "mom-up" and be stronger about the whole thing. But I do notice myself holding him just a little closer and for a little longer. Just to soak in his adorable wonderfulness. (woah, spell check left "wonderfulness" alone- awesome) He is so precious.
So if you have any good vibes, can you send them our way? We'd be quite appreciative!