The Celebrity Factor

Here's an insight into life with twins:
Wherever you go, it is the equivalent of leading a full-on parade; complete with 10 piece band and baton twirlers. Everyone will stop- possibly stare- or engage you in conversation. Whether your twins are being complete angels, or sprawled out on the nasty, germ ridden floor of Target screaming- you are pretty much the most exciting thing happening at the store that day. I have met a lot of lovely people, as well as heard the passing whisper "Did you see those twins?"...as if it was a big secret.
I am fine telling people how old they are, when they slept through the night, their names, their personalities, if they were "natural" or not, and exactly "how I do it," etc. There are just two phrases I routinely hear that boggle my mind:

1. "I've always wanted twins!" I even get this from women with children! My answer is always "be careful what you wish for." They usually laugh, but I'm completely serious. It isn't like a 2 for 1 sale at Kmart. You actually have two babies- that means buying two of everything, dealing with two screaming babies who need the same priority, well you get the picture. I just spent a small fortune on footie pajamas that would have lasted one kid and entire week- instead, I've only got a 3-day supply. And you are actually raising two kids at the same time. There is no age difference- same developmental and emotional milestones- at the same time. This can oftentimes be less than enjoyable. I'm not saying that the twins haven't been a complete and fantastic blessing- but I would never have wished this for myself!

2. "My mother's roommates' friends' lawyer is having twins!" What am I supposed to say to this? Congrats? Or the also popular "I'm a twin!" or "I have twins! They are now 30 years old, but...." I have no idea why people tell me this. Perhaps they want me to know they are "cool" like me? They are in some elitist club that I am the bouncer for? Whenever I see a mother with small twin children the code is pretty simple- nod at each other like gangsters- while trying to maneuver the double-stroller-bus around the isles.
My mother would practically pounce on people with twins she saw.... anywhere. (even an airport!) And have long conversations with them. Had it been me, I would have bailed on her fast. As a mom of twins, the last thing I have time for (especially in a freakin' airport!) is to take my mind off the twins and the millions of lists going through my head to listen to a complete stranger for any amount of time. But whatever. At least she asked if they had any tips for me- or her, as the grandmother of twins. That's at least somewhat passable (love you, mom!)
It's not like I don't love to talk about the girls- 'cause I will talk your ear off- it's just some of the things people say... well, it just makes me wonder!

One thing that rocks about having twins? Cashiers! The ladies at the grocery stores I frequent practically throw a crazy amount of coupons at me. Awesome. And yesterday, the dressing room attendant at Old Navy gave me a "friends and family" discount- out of nowhere. (Bless her!)
Although Babies R Us needs to get with the program and do a 2 for 1 deal for twins. It's incredibly expensive... even with the paltry 10% off twin-discount.


  1. Man, you do get lots of annoying questions. You handle it well, though. I'm happy you get those coupons, though -- I can't imagine how expensive your life must be! Do you know what's random? I've been asked if Jayce and Alyssa were twins on two different occasions. They're two years apart . . . go figure.

  2. Ha! It's nice to know that it's not just me getting the crazy questions!

  3. My favorite is the crazy old ladies that hand out parenting advice. I had a lady walk up to me at Costco when Jacks was like 3 months old, and say bad mommy, baby should have socks on these cold little feet! (He hated socks and pulled them off within five minutes every time). Thanks so much for you're help lady, I never considered that idea. Crazy ladies. (And yes there is a club we can all be a part of, but I think we have to literally go crazy first, so when I get there I'll let you know, #3 will definitely put me over the edge. And oatmeal is awful...it's like glue, but with stuff stuck in it. I can never get it off them!)

  4. Oh and by the way when he was three months old it was July. . . really need those socks when its' 117 degrees outside!

  5. How you handle it I'll never know- you're AWESOME! I admit, I was one of those people that always wanted twins- I'm not going to lie- my reasoning? Two kids, one pregnancy, they have a playmate thie own age- now being a mom- I think you are wonder woman! One is pretty much all i can handle for now- kudos to you! I can't imagine buying two of everything either- Hailyn's college fund is spent already on diapers- I should buy stock in pampers...:)

  6. PS thanks for answering said questions about twins- I am one of those annoying curious people! I would never stop a person with twins to talk with them though- uh, duh, they have thier hands a little full!