Notes From My Boss

Performance Review

Subject: Mommy

Job Title: Executive Household Officer

Manager: Little Man

Job Knowledge: Below Average

Comments:

I have my doubts that she's even read the job description I've provided to her. 

Work Quality: Average

Comments: 

My bum is wiped, my tummy is full, my clothes are usually washed and folded upon demand, but she still insists on an afternoon nap. On a side note: if she loses another sippie, I am getting out the pinkslips.

Attendance/Punctuality: Excellent

Comments:

I am exceptionally hard to escape from. So most of the praise should go to me.

Initiative: Average

Comments: 

Again, this is more a reflection of my above-average managing skills. She is quick to jump up when I break out the high-pitched wail. 

Communication/Listening Skills: Poor

Comments:

It's like she never knows what I'm talking about! I am quite the wordsmith, if I do say so myself.

Dependability: Excellent

Comments:

I will give her this- she's always there. Sometimes it's annoying, especially when I'm rock-climbing in the kitchen. She is available for a boo-boo kissing, which is not to be undervalued.

Overall Rating: She may be struggling to stay ahead of her tasks most days, but I love her nonetheless. She seems to have won over the hearts and minds of the rest of the staff as well.