So I bought myself some semi-fat pants yesterday. My really fat pants don't fit, (the Vatican should look into this as a certified miracle) but it's still a steep climb to the holy grail that is my pre-childbearing jeans. (You can picture a celestial glow radiating off a pair of old jeans now) These semi-fat pants were cheap, looked like they were stylish, and kind of, sort of my size. So I just bought them without going through the rigamaroll that is the dressing room. They were on sale, and if they absolutely would not pass for wearable pants, then I could just return them. Whatever.
But then! I got home! I slipped on these wonder-jeans! And they are purrrrrific! They suck in the sag, and make me look... like, normal! So I'm having a torrid love affair with these jeans. There's just one tiny problem.
They have that pre-worn-in stuff done to them. They have a semi-hole, the edges are ragged, they are made to look like you've had them for years... straight out of the box. They look fine. Now. But I'm kind of wondering, will these jeans deteriorate, like super fast? They kind of already look like they're on their last leg! So.... are these things going to be... or even resemble pants in the foreseeable future? Will the hole in the knee get bigger? Will my huge thigh pop out one day and smack a sailor standing next to me? So I'm being cautious with my love for these pants. They were not a big financial investment, but if I get too emotionally attached to these jeans... I just don't think I could stand the heartbreak.
I guess I'll have to stockpile all my love into my grass green waffle-knit maternity hoodie. You see, it's comfy! But it's... well, big. I shouldn't be seen in public with it because the front drapes down around my knees in the special weird way that pregnancy clothes do without being too long in the back. It's fabric magic or something. (oooooh, say 'fabric magic' out loud to yourself- it sounds so cool! I'm going to have to use it in conversation some time) So anyway... It is sad, but that green hoodie was my "dressing up" pregnancy look. Paired with a black pant, I felt... well, like less of a shlump. But now it must stay in the confines of my own house. (along with the big sweater from high school that is comfy and perfectly worn, but has an unsightly hole in the backside) I have since dubbed it my "night time hoodie." And if I thought it was comfortable before! Without a bra... it is heaven.